Christmas 2019

Well, another year has gone by and what a year it has been.  Full of uncertainties, challenges and change.

Christmas this year was very different, Daughter #2 and family went to Colorado with friends for the holiday, Daughter #3 went to Lubbock, TX with her husband and family.  Daughter #1 was in town.
In past years the tradition has been Christmas Eve at our house, but the last two years have been very different.  Christmas 2017 grandson had his tonsils out so we went to Magnolia because he couldn't travel.  Christmas 2018 grandson was just beginning his leukemia treatments, so we went to Magnolia.  But had to leave and drive home Christmas Eve, because grandpa came down with the flu and couldn't be around grandson going through chemo treatments. So I spent the next five days catering to a man with the flu.  Christmas Eve and Christmas Day I was alone, because no one could come to this house because of the patient with the flu.  I thought it was possibly the worst Christmas on record, but it didn't hold that status long...because I'm going on record claiming Christmas of 2019 as the worst to date.  I have never felt so alone and struggled to even fake a smile.

We started Christmas morning visiting with mother and Joe, who are bed redden for the most part. Neither are in good health and do not get out much.  Then went to Daughter #1's house for a quick visit and gift exchange, it was nice to see them.  Always enjoy hanging out with them.  So glad we got to see at least one of the girls and granddaughter.  Left daughter's house and went to my sister's house.  My nephew is a master at smoking brisket and all the food was delish. It's always a good time when at their house.  But, I was missing my girls and grandkids in the worst way.  I know a huge part of the reason I was so miserable is due to the fact I was with husband, we have been in a horrible relationship for several years (not abusive), that's a whole other issue in itself I need to elaborate on later.

Anyway, so many factors factor into why it was such a miserable Christmas.  I was not feeling it, at all.  Oh well, I did put on a brave face and had a decent time at my sister's house.  It was pleasant enough and really enjoyed seeing everyone that was there.  Just not the same...I know as time passes and family dynamics change, so do holidays.  The holidays of yester year are great memoires, but they are just that, memories.

I tried to focus on the fact I would be seeing Daughter #2 and grandkids in a few days to have a belated Christmas and spend Year's Eve with them.  I know I sound like I'm having a huge pity party, perhaps I am, but sometimes you just have to whaler in self pity...just don't unpack and life there!!

This whole past year has been very difficult, between grandson's leukemia diagnoses, leaving my job of 17 years, giving up my life in Fort Worth and moving to Magnolia.  I do not regret a single decision and I would do it all over again if need be, but that doesn't mean it wasn't hard to do.  However, with all that being said...my biggest blessings have emerged from my darkest days.  I learned so much about myself that I didn't even know existed.  I left my comfort zone and took a leap of faith like non other in my entire life!!!  Now I can't go back to the old me or the old life and that creates a huge problem in married life.

Keeping it real.  Moving forward.  Hard decisions ahead.

Much love to all!!

Kevin Klien - Going to the Top of the World for Kids

Kevin Klien is a popular radio DJ in Houston, Texas.  He has a passion for kids, especially kids fighting cancer.  This is just a part of his story, but I know this part first hand as we met Kevin.

Have to back up a couple of months, Jessica was contacted by a woman who told her she ran marathons for kids with cancer, she was part the Snowdrop Kids organization and each year she dedicates her runs/medals to a child fighting cancer.  Her name is Emma Louis Jeter.  This year Gatlin is her kid. 

Emma told Jessica she was running a marathon in Oregon for Gatlin.  She ran and she won a medal. Jessica is contacted again by Emma who wants to present Gatlin the medal she won.  She told us the Snowdrop Foundation was having an event at Gallery Furniture (Mattress Mack) in Houston and wanted to present the medal to Gatlin via live streaming on FaceBook.  It was an amazing event, I had no idea what Snowdrop was or what they did.  But, we soon found out.  That day at Gallery Furniture Emma indeed presented Gatlin with her medal in a live interview on FaceBook.  At the event was a guy running on a treadmill, we told about his upcoming adventure...he was training to run over 300 miles along the Alaskan  Delta Highway to raise awareness and funds for childhood cancer.  He would be carrying a backpack to the "top of the world" with over 1800 names of children who, are fighting, fought or survived childhood cancer.  Kevin told our Gatlin his name is on the list going to the "top of the world".  We are so very touched.

So Kevin is scheduled to start his 300 mile adventure November 2019 (I do not know exact date).  Last night I was reading about him and all that is entailed preparing for this race, there was a picture of a woman putting a huge stack of cards in Kevin's backpack, her son Caleb is in that stack of cards.  Later I found a FB page saying, "follow along with Kevin and his journey to the "top of the world"".  The organizer asked everyone to post a picture and brief message of the child whose name is going with Kevin.  I was reading the posts and became overwhelmed with emotion.  So many children have not made it through their cancer journey.  I have never been so sad or felt such grief in my life and for people I do not even know.  The beautiful faces with date of births and then date of deaths.  My heart has never felt so heavy.  I truly wanted to reach through the screen and hug each parent, grandparent, sibling, aunt, uncle etc...for each child!!

Kind of got ahead of myself, back to the event at Gallery Furniture...it was really fun!  They had six king size mattresses pushed together to form a huge "bounce" area for the kids!!  We even met Mattress Mack himself, owner of Gallery Furniture.  He is the sweetest man and does huge things for the Houston community. He is quite the celebrity in Houston.  The store is pretty cool, there are inspirational quotes/saying printed on all the walls, there is a glassed in area with live monkeys, yes monkeys!!  They are so active and fun to watch, we all enjoyed seeing them.

I just have to say there is a special place in heaven for people like Emma, Kevin and organization like Snowdrop Kids.  They are all heroes in my book. 

I will probably never do anything has huge as Keven or Emma, but I will continue to support the fundraising and awareness events for childhood cancer long after our Gatlin is healed. 

As hard as it is to say, because this leukemia diagnoses has been hell...we are among the lucky ones!!  Gatlin's leukemia is one of the most treatable types, he was diagnosed at the best age for survival.  His prognosis is good.  Yes, he's had challenges, high blood pressure, high live enzymes, nausea, fatigue, horrible side effects of steroids, but his prognosis is good the doctors say he is tolerating and responding to treatment well.

I will find away to help other families going through what we've been through, give support, make a meal, send a toy, clean a house, mow a lawn...nothing will ever be enough!!!

#teamgatlin #gatlinstrong

Keeping it real. 

Until next time...I have to write all this down in hopes to give Gatlin a glimpse of the love and support so many people have shown our family and him during his journey.

Year from Hell continued...

As bad as the leukemia diagnosis has been, we have had so many wonderful people reach out to us in so many ways.  The support from family, friends and complete strangers has been overwhelming at times.  We are so grateful for every experience!!  I'll try to capture some of our experiences.

First the neighborhood put together a food chain, someone brought us dinner every single night for 30 days!! Might not seem like a big deal, but it was huge!!  Cam, Jessica and I could focus on Gatlin, whatever that meant...sometimes it was watching him sleep, others times is was holding him because he was so sick and confused.  At four he did not understand what was happening, all he knew was he felt bad and his whole world had been ripped apart. He now had to take medicine daily and some of the meds were horrendous and it was an ordeal making him take them.  Mama and daddy were tasked with this unpleasant task!!  It was horrible!!

Jessica's best friend Keli put together a fundraiser, first a GoFundMe page, then a t-shirt and bracelet sell.  And later football pots.  She is one of the most selfless people I've ever known.  She sold close to 200 shirts and 600 bracelets, the shirts had written on the back "Not all super hero wear capes, sometimes they fight leukemia". The bracelets have Gatlin Massey and "Fighting like a super hero" on them, also had the Batman icon.  Gatlin become know as our Super Hero, because two days before his diagnosis Cam took a picture of Gatlin and Savannah in Super Hero costumes,  Gatlin was Batman and Savannah was Wonder Woman.  This picture become the face of #teamgatlin, also something Keli did, she created the #teamgaltin FB page.  So we were all sporting our orange TeamGatlin t-shirts and bracelets (I never take my bracelet off).  Orange is the color for the leukemia ribbon.  So shirts and bracelets are all orange...I will forever have a orange on!!

Each visit to the hospital was an adventure, TCH is amazing and has activities, celebrities and events almost every week.  We met the driver of the Whiplash Monster Truck, went to the Monster Truck even and Gatlin loved seeing his new "best friend".  We met several Astros players and Orbit.  Had a space day complete with a real astronaut suit and "built an astronaut" station.  All so very touching.

Also, with these events we met other families with children fighting.  One in particular was the Ericha Williams, her daughter Addyson has the exact opposite problem as Gatlin.  Her body does not produce white blood cell, she has no ANC no way to fight infection, it's call Aplastic Anemia.  She has had three bone marrow transplants and is still going through treatments. But doing much better.  Turns out the Williams family live in Magnolia too and Ericha and Jessica know some of the same people...such a small world.

The Winter of 2019 was the longest, wettest darkest winter I can ever remember.  The kids and I did crafts, went to the library, went to the "treehouse" (my garage apartment), watch endless Power Rangers, Oscar's Oasis, Lava mixed with Princess Poppy and Barbie shows!! But, the Summer of 2019 will forever be my best summer. Ever!!  I was off the entire summer and spent it in Magnolia.  Even under the circumstances of leukemia we had a great summer. We swam almost every day.  I got to take the kids to swim lessons every day for two weeks, they had a blast!!  After swim lessons we'd usually go eat lunch in Magnolia, then go home for a nap.  Get up have a snack and swim again.
It was also the summer of my 60th birthday, Cam, Jessica and the other two girls along with my sister threw me the best birthday pool party. Ever.  Even my brother and his family came!!  It was a beautiful day full of love, celebration and gratefulness!!

Well, I will close for now and pick up again later...still lots more to come!!

Keeping it real

#teamgatlin

Year from Hell - Leukemia

Not sure where to even begin...so I guess at the very beginning.

Wednesday, September 12, 2018 forever engrained on my heart as a night of shear terror.

Four year old grandson, Gatlin was diagnosed with leukemia, specifically Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia.  It is a blood cancer.  I now know more about leukemia than I ever wanted to know. 

The next few days were a complete whirlwind of test, blood transfusion, lumbar puncture, chemo, labs etc...and a feeling of total helplessness.

His day started like any other day, up early at 5:30p, went to day care.  Teacher calls mama tells her Gatlin is running a low grade fever, but not to come get him yet.  She said she'll check him after nap time.  He woke up from his nap with a 104 temperature, day care called mama, she called doctor and took him right in.  I talked to her all the way to the doctor's office, she told me how awful he looked and how horrible he felt.  He was prone to strep throat, so we're assuming that's the culprit.  Doctor looks at his swollen lymph nodes and says "those are impressive, I want you to take him straight to Texas Children's Hospital emergency room. They will be expecting you".

I get the call they are on their way to TCH, 15 minutes later we're on the road headed to Houston.  Three hours later while driving through College Station Jessica calls with the news...it's leukemia.  I cannot even begin to tell you the emotions I felt...it was like the breath had been knocked out of me.  I simply could not believe what I was hearing.  Please God let it be a mistake.  It was no mistake.

I walked into the ER room and saw Jessica holding her very sick son with his daddy near by with tears in his eyes.  Her first words to me were "I'm so angry!!"  They spent the night in ICU monitoring him very closely.  We were told they'd have to move him to the downtown Houston TCH. Late Thursday night Gatlin and Jessica rode in an ambulance with Cam and me following.  Friday afternoon he had his first of many lumbar punctures and later that night his first of many chemo treatments.  After a week in the hospital, they are sent home to endure the worst 28 days of their lives.  Mega steroids changed our sweet carefree boy into an angry, frustrated and very irritable child.  During this 28 days, he gain 10% of his body weight which caused others issues, he could not climb up into his chair to eat, he was too heavy, he had trouble walking and would fall frequently.  Too much weight gain in too short of time his little body didn't know how to control the extra weight.  All he wanted was to eat "white noodles" aka fettuccini alfredo.  His parents took turns sleeping with him and would get up in the middle of the night to eat "white noodles".  Finally, the 28 days were over and the steroids started to leave his body and we got our precious boy back. His walking improved as the weight begin to drop off.

October 12, 2018 was a big day.  He had another lumbar puncture to check for cancer cells.  It was the first of many milestones he/we would cross. 

There is so much more, but I'll move on to another topic.  We knew he would not be able to return to day care for at least nine months making it August 2019.  I decided to retire early (that's a whole other story I'll elaborate on later) and move to Magnolia to keep Gatlin and Savannah and also be available to go with Jessica for chemo and LPs.  So January 7, 2019 I started my baby sitting gig and Jessica returned to work.  Every Thursday for months we traveled to downtown Houston TCH for chemo, the hospital is an hour and 20 minutes from Magnolia.  So needless to say, every Thursday was an adventure, Houston traffic can be a total fickle bitch!!!  But, we fell into a routine, drop Savannah off at day care, start our way downtown, stop at Whataburger for breakfast and chocolate milk per Gatlin's request.  Make it to the 14th floor designated as the oncology clinic and procedure floor.  It is a lovely child friendly floor, but also heartbreaking.  As you sit waiting for your appointment you see so many children in various stages of treatment...it can really get to you!!

So much more to write, but going to fast forward...today our Super Hero is doing well, he's had several issues his oncologist has had monitor closely.  He is not done yet...treatment should be complete Fall of 2021.

More later...so much more!!  Keeping it real

#teamgatlin
#leukemiasucks